Letter to the Nazis, by Aleksander Rogers

I came across this almost by chance: a short, contemporary Russian version of “A Modest Proposal”, as bitter and biting as ever Swift's own snarl of indignation was. This is a very rough translation, done with the help of translation software and some of my own, now rather rudimentary and rusty feeling for the spirit of the Russian language. I have not sought the author's permission to publicize this translation, but I suspect he wouldn't mind a bit.

Just a couple of words of explanation before the text itself: “Colorado Beetles” is the insulting, pejorative term Ukrainian crypto-fascists and outright Nazis use for ethnic Russians, mockingly referring to the St George ribbons Russians wear to commemorate their World War II victory over the Nazis.  The advice to the Ukrainian Nazis of today to go jump up and down to keep themselves warm since they are not Muscovites is actually a direct quotation of what Ukrainian high school students were taught to chant last year, taunting and ostracizing any of their peers who'd refuse to take part in the collective madness of uber-nationalist evil that's swept across that benighted country. As for the reference to the “slaves of Obama” in the very last paragraph: it reminds me of what the African-American philosopher Cornel West routinely calls the USA of today: “the Obama plantation.”

Letter to the Nazis, by Aleksander Rogers

Be consistent!  You are a disgrace to Hitler, whom you secretly worship. Did the Third Reich buy gas, oil, coal and electricity from the "Asian hordes"? Did Hitler beg them for loans or beg them to defer debt repayment installments? 

Be consistent!  Give up Russian gas, stop using it to power your hot-water boilers or warm up your food on gas stoves (I do not care how you cook it, even if it's in wood-burning ovens). Do not buy energy from Russia.  Do not buy Russian coal.  Freeze your arses off for the glory of Bandera or go jump up and down to warm yourselves up, since you are not Muscovites.

The other day, Avakov said that he had just "found four billion dollars Yanukovych had stashed away."  Throw that tyrannical money in the face Siluanov and Miller so they don't call you sub-human, as you call us.

Is it so hard to understand that you can't simultaneously scream for a war with Russia and, in the same breath, beg Russia for another discount on the gas you buy from it?! 

Once Poroshenko and Yatsenyuk declare that they are at war with Russia (not with Novorossyia, no, but with Russia itself), break all trade ties with the country. And do not sell anything Ukrainian to Russia; don't supply the "aggressor".

Be consistent and drop the hypocrisy!  You have killed several thousand residents of Donbass, with your "patriots" gleefully calling for “More roasted Colorado Beetles!” Given that, why on earth are you suddenly troubled by the death of ten passengers on a bus which was taking “quilted jackets” from Donetsk to pick up their pensions in Mariupol?  So you've killed more pensioners – what a saving for the Ukrainian state budget.... 

Rejoice and celebrate: do not hold back!  Each Colorado Beetle is a feast for the home-grown Nazi. Be honest at least in front of your victims: tell them the truth and admit your doings to the Colorado Beetles themselves.  And then, you can treat yourself to a couple of cakes in the form of Russian babies -- to celebrate.  And anyway, isn't it time that each message of death to the inhabitants of Donbass be marked with some fireworks, too? The fireworks would at least – if only for a few minutes -- dispel the darkness you've rolled out, smothering the light. 

If viewed objectively, it is obvious that the Ukrainian economy still exists only by the grace of the Kremlin.  Cast it away indignantly, this aid, and proudly hurl it into the abyss, as is the way of true Aryans.  Show yourselves worthy descendants of Bandera not just in words!  Follow your leader to the very hell, and declare, finally, your war against Russia! 

Let Mosiychuk, Yarosh and Illenko lead the charge, let them be at the head of the column moving on Moscow. They have already spewed out all of their Russophobic nonsense, so it's time to move from words to actions!  I solemnly promise that I will sacrifice two harmonicas, playing at their funeral. Maybe even three.

Make sure, though, to stop well before Moscow: you're like lap-dogs on a chain ... small, noisy , yapping at the elephant ... street curs full of noise, of stink, too, and if you ever get off your chain, you will find yourself squealing somewhere in Canada or London, the big heroes that you are. 

You're brave only when you're a crowd against one – as at the Euromaidan, beating left-wing activists, a crowd of chain-wielding bullies against a handful of peaceful leftists.  Or when going fully armed against unarmed civilians, as last May 9 in Mariupol.  But when you meet with someone your own size, you show youselves contemptible cowards. And there you are, swarming the Internet -- “patriots” calling for war not from the trenches or even from some office in Kiev, but from Italy and Poland, spattering your hate propaganda all over cyber-space. 

You can't even engage in direct battle with the defenders of Novorossiya.  No, when it comes to a real fight, you always run away. Always running away. ALWAYS. The only thing that you can manage are vile attacks from afar, your "bravery out of range", and even then what we get from you is not artillery duels but the shelling of residential areas.

"Woof, woof," go the dogs chained to the US State Department (not only in Ukraine, but also in the Baltic States). Currently they seem like bull terriers, but in fact they are spitz. He who barks the loudest will receive a cookie from Nuland.

Do you think your owner will protect you?  Do you imagine the owner will have mercy on you, obedient slaves?  Where have you seen slave owners fighting in defense of the slaves?  All you will get is a hand wave, as Bush to Saskashvilli in 2008: "Our thoughts are with you."

And then there will come a time when you will find yourselves alone with the Russian bear, awakened from hibernation. And there will be only you, the bear, and your full "bloomers”.

I'm awating that moment with impatience. And so, State Department curs, enough of this policy of "Neighbor, give me something to eat”, and then “We have nothing but shit to shovel in under your door”.  Do not let me down, oh slaves of Obama: do me a favour, and do finally declare war on Russia.  Enough of your barking, you home-grown Nazi curs of Ukraine!

Aleksander Rogers, for the News Front

The original text in Russian can be found at


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4 thoughts on “Letter to the Nazis, by Aleksander Rogers”

  1. Great job, Dr. Tumir! I do like your translation, and I could only regret it mainly will go unnoticed by the English-speaking readers, but we cannot do much about it, can’t we?
    The only small mistake, more like a typo, I noticed is a “Siluanova”; most likely, the author means current Russian finance minister Anton Siluanov (Антон Германович Силуанов), a male, and although in the Russian original his last name is used in genitive case, Силуанова, the translation should, of course, read “Siluanov”.
    Your explanation of Colorado beetle is really necessary for English readers; there are some other expressions which have full meaning in the current Russian cultural context only. For example, Russian Bear has a connotation far beyond the Russian national totem animal.
    May I ask you, however, is there something besides this beautiful piece of literary work and generic (and very natural, of course) anti-Nazism? Current situation in Ukraine is very complex and convoluted and there are very many accusation of Nazism (more often, in fact, of Fascism) flowing in opposite direction, from Ukraine toward Russia. After all, many (and me myself) believe that in this war Ukrainians pursue their own national goal and Russians pursue their own ones. Or, do you perceive this war as a manifestation of *civilizational conflict*, of which Russian unacceptance of Western model is only a part?


    1. Thank you for spotting that error: “Siluanov” it should indeed be.

      On your other points: [1] I am not familiar with the other connotations of the phrase “the Russian Bear” you allude to. [2] Later this year, I will try to post some of my own observations about the current situation in Ukraine. Until then, and very briefly, it is in my view quite obviously yet another iteration of USA attempts (the so-called Orange Revolution having been the first such) to drive a wedge between the rest of Europe and Russia, as well as, also quite obviously, an attempt on the part of the international oligarchy to profit from its current grab of Ukraine’s gold and natural resources (a grab it has already begun). You may recall that all of Ukraine’s gold reserves were flown out of the country and into the USA just a couple of days after last February’s coup engineered by the State Department and its crypto-fascist friends in Europe was successfully pulled off by the Kiev and Lvov ultra-nationalists and Ukrainian oligarchs. The attempts to cast this in terms of a civilizational conflict are, in my view, for the most part a distraction from what’s really at stake: American control of both Europe and of the vast natural resources Russia has. After all, both Zbignew Brzezinski and Madelaine Albright are on record about this being the real aim of the American neocons, who have infiltrated and are active in both of the two major political parties in the USA. Victoria Nuland, the Kiev Cookie Lady herself, is a career neocon and the wife of Robert Kagan, another top-ranking neocon in the USA. All of these people have either written monographs or articles or given speeches and interviews in which they openly state their political program and intentions. Having said this, I do not wish to give the impression that I dismiss your remark entirely. Any substantive treatment of the question of civilizational differences, which do naturally exist, would require a monograph which would look into the cultural, artistic, as well as theological differences that characterize what’s loosely called the West, on the one hand, and Russia and the Christian Orthodox world as a whole, on the other (a world which, significantly, includes Greece, too, a fact that tends to undermine all simplistic “civilizational conflict” narratives).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t describe people such as Nuland, Kagan et. al. as neo-cons. What they really are are neo-traitors, as they are traitors to the USA because they put the interests of zionism way higher and way before the interests of the USA. Everything they do is designed to benefit scum like Netanyahu, whom the neo-traitors all adore and will do anything for, regardless of the cost to American lives and fortune. The neo-traitors and zionists are all arch nazis in character, as they too put concepts like blood, soil and lebensraum before everything else.


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